Digital Music Front

Oh yeah, Hi to all my visitors from ifeelmyself.com. My appologies about the state of the site, haven’t put nearly as much work into it as I should have. Chances are you’ve probably heard the demos already but if you want to hear some of the stuff I produce for myself then here are a couple of links until I get my shit together:

Sack the DJ featuring the Rockstart Philospher – Try harder

Sack the DJ – ninism

Come back and visit some time, read my hilarious rants and occasionally I will post a new track.

General Music, production music, porn

This update brought to by my leaking kitchen roof and having to stay home today to wait for the plumber….

On Saturday I did something new as a DJ, I played a live set on the radio at SYN FM 90.7. For those not from Melbourne,  SYN is not on a big station or anything, its a public access / community station run by one of the universities in the city. A friend of mine has a regular Saturday night time slot there, and he has developed something of a following apparently. I was kinda nervous about it before hand, a playback from a recording is usually much less forgiving of mistakes than playing at a party. I imagined that a radio set would be much the same. I did some practice at home before I went in, but I was mixing pretty bad truth be told.

Thankfully, once I got into the studio I pretty much rocked it. The mixing wasnt awesome but it was good enough that I was happy with it. My track selection was a little off I think, I got thrown off balance when I was told I should play mostly hard stuff with lots of guitars, I was going to start with some trancier goa stuff. Still, I think the feedback was mostly good, and I’ve been invited back, assuming my friend gets to keep his show. Apparently the next lot of timeslot allocations hasn’t been done yet.

The set was recorded so I will post it for you all to listen to as soon as I get my hands on it.

DJing DJing, radio, SYN

Actually, when I say I’ve done pretty much nothing with regard to working on my music, that’s not strictly true. I have been working, just not on my own stuff. Rather, I’ve been whoring my musical ‘talents’ out again to some people whom I am eternally grateful to – the porn industry, this time for ifeelmyself. At the request of a friend who works for them I produced a quartet of pieces to be used as backing music for video clips. Harder than it sounds, contrary to what you might think, not all porn music is bom-chika-wow-wow. Atmoshperic stuff is generally pretty easy to produce, but trying to picture how some track is going to go along with a naked girl feeling herself up is…. well, distracting….  ’scuse me….

Anyway, so far they’ve only bought one of the four, so at 3 – 5 hours work per piece, I’m not getting a very good return on investment. That said, I’ve been told that rather than the tracks getting bought grouped together its more likely they will just pay for them as they want to use them, which makes sense. Be interesting to see how long before they want the next one, or if they start asking for more without buying any of the others from the last batch.

General Music, production porn, production

Lately my musical endeavors have been much like this blog, which is to say, I’ve done pretty much nothing. After my last rant regarding my craptastic monitors, I’ve felt less inclined to put much effort into producing, almost as if the effort is not really worth it until I can over come this hurdle (which is fundamentally a financial problem). Ideologically speaking  this shouldn’t really be stopping me, I was talking to the Rockstar Philosopher just the other day about the realisation that I could and should just focus on getting the music down and worrying about post when I’ve got better equipment. Practically speaking I’m not very good at this, I hate leaving something unfinished… I just sank 100 hours into playing Lost Odyssey to completion before I would even think about picking up another game.

I have however, mostly by accident, managed to start working on another track while ‘Thru the wringer’ languishes in its unmastered state. As seems to be my modus operandi I stumbled upon the beginnings of this next track while cobbling together unfinished bits and pieces from previous work. Every now and then while I’m working on something I will stumble across a bass line or a note progression that I like which isn’t really suitable for the piece I’m working on and just save it in a different file. Then one day when I’m bored I go thru all this crap aiming to clear most of it out and end up using half of it. Behold, Frankensong is born… Actually… I should use that.

General Music, Rants, production music, production

I managed to overcome my recent bout of musician’s block long enough to finish the latest track I’ve been writing. Finish at least to the extent that the music is written and layout done. Now what remains to do is that most hated part of any musical recording – post production.

When the Rockstar Philosopher and I released our first track as Untitled Project, I was surprised at how different it sounded on speakers other than the ones we had just spent the last 8 weeks writing it on. I suspect that a large part of this is due largely to my mediocre mastering skills, but I do believe there is also a significant component that can be put down just to the different response curves of different speakers. I’ve never really paid much heed to how different one song sounds on different systems, until I was listening to my own music.

This experience really hammered home the need for a good pair of monitor speakers, but unfortunately all my rather limited budget could afford when I last went gadget shopping was a pair of Edirol MA-7A’s. They’re not bad little speakers, but they’re also about the cheapest monitors money can buy, and as with anything, you get what you pay for. The speaker cones are only 3 inches, and subsequently they have almost no bass response. That is unless you turn on the bass boost function, however that render’s them useless as monitor speakers – why something like this is even included on a monitor speaker I don’t know, except perhaps that they are really aiming at a more general purpose computer speaker rather than a true monitor.

The upshot of having to use such ill suited equipment is that the mix down and mastering process for me is a convoluted and protracted nightmare that often takes me longer to complete than the actual creation of the song. I will spend hours tweaking the levels, trying to make sure its a nice balanced sounding mix, with no clipping or horrid over compression sounds, and then bounce it all to disk, only to find that what I had sounding pretty decent at home sounds like gutless radio trash on anything else. So the process is repeated, and I go home and try to remix the song in a way to compensate for the deficiencies I heard when played on a real system, only I’m again limited in what I can hear, and so it usually takes me between 10 and 20 attempts til I get something I’m remotely happy with.

So it is that post production has become something that I dread, its the thing that makes me hate being a producer, its that last horrible barrier to being able to say “I’m done with this,” and moving onto to something new. Worse, it even starts to make me hate my own music. I always think its a sign of how good a song is, that you can listen to it through over and over throughout post production, with only minor variations to the levels and overall sound, and not end up hating it. But I am getting close, and thats a problem obviously, because I don’t want to hate my own music.

Unfortunately the only real solution to this I can see is to get better speakers, but my budget doesn’t really allow for that at this point in time. So until it can, I guess I will be dishing out loads of tinny sounding radio trash.

production music, production, speakers

So I’ve been having a bit of musicians block recently, a real mental hurdle I haven’t been able to get over. Having finally settled into my new place after the recent move, I have been meaning to sit down and get stuck into working on some new tracks, finishing off some old ones, but for some reason I keep putting it off. I’m finding any reason I can to do something else. At first I couldn’t figure out why, I mean I really want to make music, why is it such a daunting thing to actually get down to?

After a while I figured out a couple of things. Firstly, as a person without much musical talent or inspiration, making music to me feels a lot like hard work. Its rewarding sure, but its not like RSP just picking up his guitar and having a strum and seeing what comes out. For me its sitting at the computer and blundering around blindly thru different instruments and presets til I stumble across something I like the sound of then trying to make something out of it, and when I do, then I have to really think, really use my head. There’s no creative force desperately trying to get out from within me driving me to express myself musically, its a process of mental construction. Like I’ve said before – I’m not a musician, I’m a music engineer.

But secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I realised I was scared shitless of my own incompetence and lack of talent. As much as I dream of being a big shot producer, the motivation to sit down and get to it and take the first steps on the road to maybe one day realising that goal are far over shadowed by the soul crushing terror that I simply am incapable of creating music that is any good.

The first problem, well maybe I can do something about that, because essentially I just need to overcome my own laziness (mind you my laziness is Epic). Once I get into The Zone and I start enjoying myself, thats less of a problem because once I’m having fun it doesn’t feel like work so much. So in a sense, the solution to this issue is at least partly just to keep at it and not let myself get cold.

The second problem however is something I’m not sure I can do much about, purely because I recognise immediately that this fear is not irrational, it is completely legitimate – born from the knowledge that regardless of any knowledge of musical theory which can be learned, I lack that creative inspiration which drives people to express themselves musically. I’m no musician, I’m a computer / sound nerd playing at musician. I am effectively setting out to accomplish something I’m not well suited for to begin with.

So, having come to these realisations, they have lead me to a third – my need to accept the fact that maybe I won’t produce music that is really good, but also that whether I do or not doesn’t really matter. It’s not like I need to make a living this way, I make decent crust doing nerd stuff. The entire excersize then, is entirely for my own benefit really, just something I’m doing because I want to. I don’t have to impress anyone, except perhaps myself (careful, that way lies ruin and suffering).

I guess the point is, I wanted to do this for fun, so I should stop treating it like work.

General Music complete lack of talent, music, production, work

I’ve recently been trying to expand my accoustic song book.  This is my book of now around 200 songs that all work on accoustic guitar.  Obviously there’s lots of folk and adult contemporary rock, along with the occasional heavier rock song that can be slowed down and made a bit more gentle.  However, I’m always on the lookout for new songs, especially what I call “campfire tracks”.  These are songs that, whilst not necessarily good, are well known and can make people sing along and laugh when you play them around the campfire.  Two good examples are Dennis Leary’s “Asshole” and George Michael’s “Faith”.  Faith is particularly fun because you can play the first two chords over and over, just being quiet in the corner whilst people are talking.  Then you can build it up and as soon as there’s a break in conversation you can break out with “WOULDN’T IT BE NICE”.  It usually gets the ha ha’s.

My lovely housemate gave me some recommendations this week.  So I can now announce that the following work on accoustic guitar and will be coming to a campfire near you soon (if you’re near me at a campfire…)

She’s a Lady – Tom Jones (this has an interesting amount of allusion to spousal abuse in it…)

Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue  (this actually sounds really nice)

Express Yourself – Madonna (this is there in a hope to get drunken females up and dancing, or at least men touching their feminine sides)

Like A Prayer – Madonna (This works *really* well)

I’ve also found “Solid Rock” by Goanna works pretty nice, and I’m also working on “Fuck You” by Lily Allen.

General Music fire, guitar, music

I’m going to state the obvious.  If you drive a 4wd, it’s pretty likely you’re a cock.  OK, I understand some people have need for it, going off road, towing rediculous floats/vans/boats etc., but from what I can tell, most 4wd owners don’t do this (or have regular sized floats/vans/boats that can easily be towed by a normal person car).

Again, to state the bleedin’ obvious, if you drive a Porsche, there’s a pretty good chance you’re a cock.  This rule obviously doesn’t apply if you have a GT3 or something, and you take it out to a race track (or isolated country road ) for a good thrashing from time to time.  But most people don’t own these, most people own Boxsters, the poor man’s Porsche.  Seriously folks, if you’re buying at the lower level of a luxury brand, you must be aware that a big chunk of your cash is going in to a badge made prestigious by the upper levels.  This goes for the A class merc, or the ultimate CockMobile, the BMW 3 series.

Then, however, there are people who buy this:

My Penis, So Very Very Small

Nothing screams out “I’M AN INSECURE WANKER WITH A SMALL PENIS” like a GOLD PORSCHE FOUR WHEEL DRIVE. Yes, I know it’s the worlds fastest 4WD, but it’s also one of the worlds most unreliable, expensive to repair, worst handling and uncomfortable 4WD’s…  The perfect thing for a man with a small penis.  He gets his occasional rush that he lacks from being able to satisfy a partner, and in return it is constantly making him aware of it’s presence and requires constant maintenance and care.  Just like a penis.

Why would you drive one of these?  Oh yes, because it means your THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE and that you don’t have to look out for things like, oh, say A PUSHBIKE COMING DOWN THE INSIDE LANE OF THE ROAD WHEN YOU PULL IN TO A DRIVEWAY.

In other news, I’m currently off work sick with a concussion.  I also have some minor abrasions and pretty bad bruising to both legs and my shoulder.  This has given me a good opportunity to catch up on some sleep, some XboX and hopefully today, some Uni work (we’ll see how I feel at midday).   At first it wasn’t too bad, but it’s been getting progressively worse as the days wear on.  The worst thing, however, was that I had to go to a doctor who wasn’t mine (couldn’t get in to see mine).  I have issues with other doctors.  It feels like cheating on your spouse.  Nervous going in to it, feeling guilty during it, and it ends up being ultimately unsatisfying because they don’t know your body.  I also had to get a refill of my valium script.  He asked what I take it for, and I said I get mild, infrequent panic attacks when I’m in large crowds or stressful situations.  His sollution?  “Don’t get the valium, even though it really works, even to the point where often the panic attack will subside just by knowing it’s in your bag, try ZOLOFT!”.  This immediately followed the conversation where the words “I’ll never go back on Zoloft, it was horrible when I was on it, and it was almost impossible to get off it; it didn’t work and it made me worse” were mentioned.  Apparently, the best sollution to a panic attack every few months is to take a drug that will leave me emotionally anethitised ALL THE FREAKING TIME.  “But it makes you not care about the little things”.  Yeah, but when the little things are things like “getting out of bed in the morning”, not caring about the little things can have major impacts on your life.

So the moral to this story?  Don’t cheat on your parnter, and if you drive a Porsche Cayenne or a BMW X5, I want to punch you in the face.

P.S:  Yes, I’m hurt, but not as hurt as that mans penis.

Misc, Rants accident, cocks with porsche's

Tonight I got home for the first time after moving into my new place to find myself with an entire evening at home to myself. So I decided that being nearly April and me not having laid down a single beat all year, it was time to finally pull my finger out and work on some tunes. Before I could get started though I needed to tidy up my desk and plug everything in and arrange all my gear so I could work without any hassles – I’m the kind of person who hates working in a messy environment, and anyone who’s tried to get creative with a crowded or poorly laid out work space knows how much of a hinderance it can be.

So I’ve got my laptop on the desk. I plug in my external flatscreen to give me the extra screen real estate you need when you’re dealing with a million windows in a sequencer. Next the USB sound interface, then the midi controller, the external hard drive and mouse. Before I’ve even started I’ve got 5 things plugged into my computer and cables running everywhere – even the mouse which is wireless has to have a receiver plugged in. Add to that my speakers and the ADSL modem, and its a struggle to maintain any clear space on the desk, and my desk is pretty damn big.

It doesn’t stop there however, under the desk there is a rats nest of power cables. For every device on my desk, there are 2 which don’t require external power. the midi controller and sound module. Even the receiver for the mouse, which is also plugged in via USB, needs external power.

So after an hour or so of fighting with cables, I’m left wondering how much longer must we put up with this madness? Anyone who’s an electronic producer no doubt has experienced this same frustration, but these days its a problem for just about everyone. We’re constantly courted by companies trying to sell us more gadgets and more toys and now days if you can’t connect your gadget to someone else’s you’ve got no product. Our work spaces and out living rooms are being invaded by an army of electronic devices and their twisting, tangling tentacles are making the spaces behind our TV units and our desks not just a messy pain in the ass but also an electrical safety hazard. I wonder as electronics manufacturers crank out their products if they ever stop to consider just how much of a mess they are making of our lives – many will say their products are there to make life easier or improve productivity, but if you have to fuck around plugging in 5 or 6 different things into your computer before you can use it, are they really?

Perhaps the most frustrating thing of all is that there are a number of technologies out there which we could be taking advantage of right now to reduce cable clutter… but no one has quite got it right yet. Wireless mice that you have to plug in? Sorry go back to design 101 buddy. Xbox with wireless controllers? Great, but why do i still need to plug it into the TV when we have high definition TV’s with digital receivers in them? Why do any of my input devices for my still need cables when we have things like bluetooth?

C’mon Sony, C’mon Apple, Logitech, and Roland. Get with the program, Cables are so last century.

Rants cables, technology

Ahoy there intertubes!

SackTheDJ has told me to pull out my finger and put up a post for all the folks out there in internet lands!

Hi Mum!

People often ask me, who are you? To this I generally answer with some philosophical waxing of the lyrical, about existence, being and the big questions, put to the rhythm of “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mixalot. Then they reply, “Seriously, if you don’t tell me who you are, why you’re in my house, and most importantly, why you don’t have any pants on, I’m going to call the Police.” One thing about the random interruption of someones night time meal with your presence sans pants, if you start off crazy, the police will generally let you off with a trip to the doctor as opposed to registration on the sex offenders list.

But seriously, or, as they say on the dudeosphere; “srsly”. What is this all about? Well, SackTheDJ has said that it’s step 23 in our plan to take over the universe. I don’t need to know any more. I am, what they call in the industry, “The Talent”. And of course by “Talent” I mean 3000 ancient Syrian Shekels. I am phat. With an F. But this is supposed to be about the music.

In terms of the music, I’m working on a few different songs at the moment; well, largely working on some riffs and sounds that can be made in to songs at a later date. It’s quite nice finally living somewhere where my guitars don’t have to live in a wardrobe, I was getting a bit sick of those kids coming in from Narnia and fucking with my tuning. Now it’s turn on and away we go; something I think my new neighbours are going to learn to love (otherwise they may find themselves in a world of suck). Hopefully in the next fortnite I’ll have the computer set up so I can start laying some of this stuff down so I can send it off to SackTheDJ for some mixing and remixing and wickawah.

But of course, we all know it’s not about the music; life as the Rockstar Philosopher is all about Sex, Drugs and Talking Crap. Thankfully, I have been talking enough crap of late to make up for the lack of sex and drugs.

I may post again.

Misc Rockstar Philosopher